Ugly Attitude

My hubby went to store with my 3 yr old son to buy milk. They also bought flowers for me. I love flowers but to think that its expensive makes me upset. I yelled reminding my hubby not to buy me flowers. My son’s face is so sad and replied to me when I said that his daddy’s stupid…. “Daddy’s not stupid, I can’t believe you. I like the flowers”. It stops me from yelling. My hubby told me that my son picked the flowers for me and it’s my son’s idea to buy the flowers. I feel bad and guilty to what I did. I tried to talk to my son but then my hubby start cutting the steam of the flowers to make it short like the 3 flowers that my son accidentally cut. He put it in the flower vase on the table but it looks so ugly. I start yelling again asking them to throw the flowers in the garbage. I’m really upset. My hubby left and went to sleep that makes me think about my actions. I’m so stupid.

"Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force"

What makes me happy and content?

I just finished reading Levi’s bday message to me. She said… “U looks great, happy and contented to all the pictures posted here. I wish it would last forever”.

It feels good reading her message but… this word “I wish it would last forever “ put the question mark in my mind. Is it going to last forever? I hope so… but the fact that I am human honestly it scared me. God knows my heart. He knows that I have a lot of disappointments and wants. But who doesn’t have that anyway. And more questions came to mind…. Am I really happy and content? Why, How and where it came from?

I get some answers but did not satisfy me so I search, read and get some idea here… but not the complete answer. Then suddenly 2 of my favorite bible verses came to my mind. I see… yeah this is why.

When I’m upset, disappointed or frustrated. I always ask God to help me get over it. I always come to Him anytime or every time I need His comfort, protection or guidance and He’s there. I also asked Him for wisdom. I actually talked to him all the time even in the shower, in the car, in the kitchen or wherever I am. The bible verse also helps me remember what God said and what He wants me to do. It encouraged and strengthens me all the time. If I will do it forever my happiness and contentment will last forever too. That’s sounds terrific. And while writing this, the song fear not came to my mind too…. and now I’m singing and dancing:-) I love this feeling. Thank you Jesus for being there::-) I love you soooooo muchhhh!

Day After My Birthday

Well, we did not ride the motorcycle. It’s still cold and I can’t imagine leaving my kids to a babysitter. But hubby begs to go out. He suggested riding the gondola and eating dinner afterwards. I don't feel to go, I just feel so lazy to get ready but to keep him quite we went.... so here's the link of the slideshow picture taken at the Gondola “Heavenly's Gondola is Lake Tahoe's must see and do attraction, a year-round sightseeing opportunity unlike any other! It's one of Lake Tahoe's newest attractions. The 8-passenger cars take you up a vertical 2.4 miles over 12 minutes. We get to enjoy Lake Tahoe's spectacular and breathtaking views the entire ride”.
As soon as we get home I get calls from my family in the Philippines. I talked to my mom, dad, sisters and brother. It’s usual to me every year but I still get excited hearing their greetings. I just missed them so much. I also get the txt messages from other friends in the Philippines and read more greeting cards online.

Today’s the day, the days today….

Yes, today's my birthday and:-) I should go to sleep now but I can’t sleep. I checked if I have some fish but it was frozen. No, I’m not pregnant. I just feel weird and can’t sleep. I missed my family in the Philippines. Anyway, I got a birthday card from my father-in-law. He’s so sweet and as usual and never forgets my birthday. I also read a lot of e-mails from friends in the Philippines and messages from my friendster list. Yesterday, I’m already busy answering phone call from friends. I’m not complaining but I can’t imagine later in the daytime. My hubby already told me that we will have our first motorcycle ride around the Lake today and we will have a baby sitter to watch our kids. I’m a little hesitant but I need some fresh air so I guess I’ll go with him. Let’s see. He also wants us to go to jewelry store to buy my wish (diamond ring) but I don’t need it now. I found my wedding ring just 5 hrs ago while changing our bed skirt. It’s the best gift ever and I don’t want any other ring in my fingers. I never thought I would find it. I already bought 2 sets of wedding ring but I don’t like any of them. This ring is very special to me so I promised to myself that I would never remove it in my finger ever again. Okay…. I better go to bed now. My hair is dry and my brain is ready to sleep:-)

You’re such a good God…

"Thank you Heavenly Father for the many blessings you have provided in my life and to my family. I cannot thank you enough for allowing me to grow up in a Christian family, for having a loving parents and siblings, for saving me from death 12 years ago and for leading me through many valleys…. but later found out that it was for my spiritual growth. It still amazes me that you never gave up on me through all the years that I ignore you. My life has been so rich and full of happiness. You have blessed me with two wonderful children, a loving husband and a happy marriage. I am eternally grateful for all the wonderful things you have given me and shown me - not just material things but life, friends, family, insight into my life, and the ability to love and be loved. The list is endless, Lord! You are truly the greatest and the only way to all that is good! Thank you father God for giving me heaven on this earth, for the promise of everlasting joy and for loving me unconditionally (even if sometimes I don’t deserve it)."

GoRgEoUs MoM

The words "GoRgEoUs MoM" caught my eye from some place just an hour ago and I can't stop adding myself to the list, because I feel one… and most of all I feel one “bLeSsEd MoM”. When I was a little girl, a college girl, and until I start working… the most wonderful thing that I could ever think of, was to become a mother. I always desire to have my own kids and secretly asked God to bless me one or two someday. Every time I saw some kids, I always wish to bring the kids home, clean them up, feed them, and play with them. I had no idea that God will blessed me of my own, but I know that this was something that the Lord has been preparing my heart for all of my life. Now I can’t wait for my kids to grow up and give me grand kids, which will be fun. Be blessed by His strength and goodness in your own days, "GoRgEoUs MoMs".